Are You Struggling With Relationship Issues With Your Partner Or Other Loved Ones?
Do you find yourself fighting with your romantic partner in repetitive ways? Does it seem like conflicts never get resolved? Do you habitually have arguments with family members, coworkers, or other important people in your life? Have you or your partner had an affair, and you’re trying to figure out if your marriage or relationship can endure? Are you both still stuck on issues from the past that keep coming up over and over again? Is the stress from your relationships making it hard to focus on school, work, or other areas of your life? Are you missing the connection you’d like to have with other family members? Are you having challenges starting relationships, even finding friends? Does your partner seem constantly irritated with you, or complain you’re distant, shut down, or needy? Do you find yourself uncertain if you’ll ever make any relationship last because they never seem to go well after a certain point? Is your partner so frustrated or despondent about your relationship they won’t consider couples or marriage counseling?
Many People Struggle With These Common Relationship Concerns
Let’s face it, relationships are hard, even for people who really care about their partners and family members. We’ve all said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Other times we don’t know what to say at all. No matter what we try, we can feel stuck in conflict, giving up our needs and wants. Our efforts to improve our relationships can backfire, even when we mean well. We can end up feeling alone, hopeless, or like there’s something intrinsically wrong with us that we can’t connect.
The good news is counseling can be effective for relationship issues, even if it’s only for one person. There are habits, patterns, and dynamics that create relationship problems, and they can be changed using the latest counseling theories. While you may have made mistakes in your past, there are ways you can move forward to restore your relationships, and maybe even take them to new levels you have never before experienced.
Counseling for Relationship Issues Can Lead To Long Lasting Change
I’ve always been fascinated with why some people are successful at relationships while others are not. The good news is that there is a lot of invaluable information available today on this exact question. Contemporary research on relationships suggests that the reasons relationships are successful have a lot to do with our individual habits, such as how we react to conflict, stress, and differences with our partners or families. Some people were lucky enough to have absorbed good relationship habits from our families of origin and react skillfully when we’re having problems in our relationships. However, if you’re like most of us, you didn’t have the best examples set for you. In fact, you probably saw people trying all kinds of ineffective strategies to improve the relationships that may have ultimately backfired. Why would you know how to respond appropriately if you haven’t seen what works?
Fortunately, you can learn effective relationship skills. Human beings have a tremendous capacity to grow and change with a little incentive and direction. One of the clearest findings in neuroscience over the last few decades is that the brain is actually capable of rewiring itself into more adaptive patterns. I have spent years studying exactly what is effective in people’s relationship skills and can train you to do the same, until it becomes an automatic, natural response for you to do things in relationships that help them grow and flourish.
I have a wide variety of tools backed by solid research about the many ways we can learn to connect. I’ve taught classes on relationship skills and studied relationships from a variety of counseling theories. I’ve found a combination of neuroscience, relationship skills, mindfulness, and a little hope can go a long way. Gaining insight around your own emotional reactions, understanding what might be going on for your partner or family members, and knowing what you can say or do to improve the situation can make a tremendous difference. These tools are useful in romantic relationships, with family members, colleagues, or any other situation where relationships have been a problem for you. They can even help you overcome great hurts in relationships, such an affair.
Sounds good, but I still have concerns about whether counseling for relationship issues will really work.
I’ve never been good at any relationships. What if I can’t change?
Chances are, you have been hurt and discouraged by some of your past experiences. Perhaps it was through your family growing up, an earlier romantic partner, or just your experiences with people in general. While I can understand your belief that this must have something to do with you, I fundamentally believe we as human beings are all meant to be in community and relationship with others. Even if we picked up some less adaptive habits, thoughts, and beliefs about relationships along the way, we can make changes. Once we learn healthier ways of connecting with people that are healthy, we are often surprised how much more potential for relationship we have than we previously assumed. People around us notice these changes and want to connect more deeply with us. Counseling for relationship issues can help you change!
I feel hopeless about my relationship because my partner (or family member) seems to be the one with the problems, and they aren’t willing to change or seek counseling themselves.
That can feel very frustrating! However, I have found time and time again that if we are willing to work on our end of the relationship, inevitably our partner senses our efforts and becomes more willing to change. Sometimes, in fact, our complaints about our partner, even legitimate ones, end up contributing to our partners acting poorly. We need to figure out a new way to look at the things we do have control over, such as our own emotions and behaviors and figure out how to get those to line up with what we want from our partner. Even very poor behavior from your partner might be something you can change with individual counseling for relationship issues.
I’m not sure if getting counseling for relationship issues is worth doing at this point. Maybe I just need to end my relationship.
That is a difficult and painful place to be, and most of us have been there at one point or another. If you’re seriously distraught about the relationship to the point where you’re considering ending it, you will be able to do so with a clearer frame of mind if you have looked at your own role and take responsibility for your own end of the relationship. I can help you process your decision about staying or leaving a relationship, whether it’s with your spouse, partner, or a family member. If you’re unwilling to make a thoughtful, informed decision, however, you may later find yourself wondering if you made a mistake. You might feel regret or guilt. The peace of mind that emerges from working on your part of the relationship before ending it is healing in and of itself. It gives you confidence in your decision. Plus, the skills you will gain from counseling for relationship issues will be applicable to other areas of your life and later relationships, which is especially important if we had a destructive relationship at some point in our life. We don’t want to carry bad habits into the future or we will find ourselves reliving the same issues!
Feeling Ready To Make Changes In This Area Of Your Life?
I can help you get your life on back from depression and encourage you to contact me using the pop-up form below to schedule a free 30 minute consultation. Or you can call me at my confidential business number (303) 748-4730.
I look forward to speaking with you about your concerns and am happy to answer any additional questions about how I might help you!